Pickleball. An international obsession. If I got a dollar every time I heard that enraging “dink,” I would be a billionaire. Elon Musk wouldn’t stand a chance against me.
First off, this is coming from the perspective of a tennis player. Dink. And throughout this article, I want to make it clear that I’m discussing recreational pickleball. Dink. Anyways, there are a number of parks that USED to have tennis courts. Dink. But since this “pickleball takeover,” tennis courts have been converted into pickleball courts. Dink. It’s almost as if tennis courts are going extinct. Dink.
Are you starting to understand how annoying constant “dinking” is?!? Because I’m a sane tennis player, I’ll stop now. You’re welcome.
My frustration behind this sport started six years ago when I was nine years old. I was on the tennis court, having a fun tennis practice, when all of a sudden, an angry pickleball player started yelling at my coach about being on the court for “too long.” Mind you, I was there for 45 MINUTES! Not an hour, not two hours, literally 45 minutes. Then this guy had the audacity to call the police on me, an innocent nine year old.
Although pickleball is becoming more popular, it has many downfalls. Many people, specifically the older generations, have been misled into thinking that pickleball is a safe sport. Sorry retirement homes, but pickleball isn’t the best choice for a group outing.
According to arkansasresearch.uark.edu, it was estimated that there were 17,416 pickleball-related emergency room visits in 2022. Fractures were amongst the most common injuries. Additionally, 87% of those who sustained injuries were individuals older than 50.
Pickleball (said with an exasperated sigh).
People may be crazy for it, but it’s driving me crazy.
In my experience, there are far more mean pickleball players than mean tennis players. Why do pickleball players always feel the need to steal tennis courts? And why, when they do so, do they stay for an absurd amount of time?
I hate to break it to you, but playing for six hours at a time isn’t the most productive thing to do. Youmatter.org advises that one does 20-25 minutes of MODERATE activity per day.
Not to generalize, but pickleball players are way too competitive. I know we’ve all seen the video of the pickleball player drop kicking someone’s head after a loss (disclaimer: bad language). Everytime I go to my tennis practice, I hear the unmistakable frustrated screams from the pickleball courts. The yelling from the players often includes things like “No!” and “Why did I do that?!” and my personal favorite: “@!#%!#@%^!$!.”
I don’t know how people can be so competitive when the court is literally described like a doll house. Respectfully, why is there a little box named “the kitchen?” The number of times I’ve overheard an argument about whether someone stepped into the kitchen or not has to be a world record.
But, there are other problems with pickleball besides the players and the game itself—the paddles are their own separate issue. Companies charge $30-$300 for a small, sometimes carbon fiber, paddle. That’s absolute insanity, especially for a social sport.
In the end, play tennis. Actually, you know what? I don’t really care what you play, so long as it isn’t pickleball. And don’t even think about stealing any more tennis courts, or I’ll call the cops on you.