Broke. That’s you. That’s all of us.
For almost a century now, child labor laws have clouded our way of life and forced children to live in poverty. Confined to only the weekly allowance your parents have allotted for you, natural instincts to get rich and buy Chipotle more than three times a week are growing increasingly infeasible.
Will this ever change? Absolutely, and quick. Florida’s largest ever joint-immigration operation just took place in early May of 2025, in which over 1,100 immigrants were detained in a one-week period. What does this mean? A lot of things, but most importantly, more jobs, and nobody to work them!
So, with frustrated employers and a cause so worth fighting for, Florida legislation has already begun to pounce on the opportunity to improve our quality of life. Let me explain:
Since introduced in February, two bills, SB 918 and HB1225, are currently focused on 16 to 17-year-olds’ right to work.
Currently, laws enforce a 30-plus minute break every eight hours and an 11:00 p.m. curfew. They also prohibit working more than eight hours on a school night or more than thirty hours a week without written consent from a guardian.
I know what you’re thinking. Eight hours!? And, with such an early curfew, six is more realistic! #lame. But don’t worry—if one of the bills gets passed, we’re in the clear.
Alongside removing pesky hour caps, the proposal entirely eliminates curfews. Take that, Mom. It’s you against the law, and the government says it’s fine.
You know what that means? You and your buddy Steve, father of 14, can be up all night sneaking slurpees from your overnight shift at 7/11.
Would you believe there’s more? Get this: your best friend Susie keeps bugging you about drinking water? She thinks it’s good for you? Well, womp womp, because here’s your shot to stick it to her. No more mandated breaks, at all. So, if dehydration is your thing, then the Florida government might just be your new best friend. Sorry, Susie.
It’s not time to jump for joy quite yet, though. There’s still a battle ahead. Both SB 918 and HB 1225 were elected to be indefinitely postponed and removed from consideration on May 3, 2025. However disheartening, the progress and attention drawn to these movements has set the stage for a long and tedious future of fighting for well-deserved childhood income.
Stand firm in your beliefs and advocate for what you believe in. Until then, Old Steve might just have to manage late-night slurpee sales alongside a legal adult.