Before you begin reading this article, please look down at your hands. Are you holding an iced matcha in one, feminist literature in the other? Now look down at your shirt. Is it a collared sweater adorned with a zipper that’s, say, a quarter of the way down? Just taking a guess.

     One more quick thing: Are you a guy?

     If you answered D) All of the above, congratulations. The internet has already slapped a big fat label on your forehead that reads “performative male.”

     The term isn’t a medical diagnosis. Rather, it’s a spectrum of men who publicly perform (key word: PERFORM) a meticulously-curated aesthetic built on feminism, progressivism and emotional awareness — concepts that are assumed to be foreign to men. 

     The problem here isn’t the label itself. Yes, there are schmucks out there that utilize feminist values as a tool for romantic attention, flaunting their “indie” playlists and tantruming over period cramps.

     However, somewhere along the lines, “performative male” evolved from a term of non-endearment to an unfair assumption. Any man who shows interest in traditionally feminine things, or even so much as explores softer masculinity, is being coined as insincere, manipulative or thought to just be pining for female attention.

     Folks, it’s 2026. Surely, we’ve outgrown sexism and rigid gender stereotypes. Assuming men are automatically emotionally stunted at birth is a thing of the past (although, admittedly, some might be).

     Then again, maybe we haven’t. Sexism isn’t just defined by a gender pay gap. Sometimes, it’s an expectation.

     Using the label “performative” suggests that sensitivity or even just genuine support for women is unnatural for men, reinforcing outdated gender norms. Men who try to break the shackles of traditional, and possibly toxic, masculinity are at risk of being criticized or having their motives interrogated.  

     Sometimes, even third-party scapegoats are pelted with the title.

     Readers, don’t feel like you have to give in to societal pressures or buy $200 AirPods to prove that you’re not a part of any performative male-related theatrics.

     However, what some might call “performative” might just be a reflection of evolving masculinity. As I said before, it’s the big ’26. There should be no concrete definition of what’s feminine and what’s masculine. 

     Labeling men as performative can also, in a way, gatekeep feminism. Ugh, woke, I know — but hear me out.

     Using this term is essentially saying that only certain people get to care about gender equality and social issues. Instead of encouraging a broader participation and gathering all the support available, it feels like an attempt to police who gets to be a feminist and who’s no more than a troll.

     For all my haters who say it’s never that deep, I can promise you — it really is.

     And, as a feminist, I’m allowed to say we should focus on widening the circle rather than slamming the door on people trying to join simply because they have a Y chromosome. Except for the ones who actually do listen to Lana Del Rey as a plot to pick up women. They don’t count.

     Basically, what we should be doing is collectively promoting a true expression of self, regardless of how it may look.

     Oh, and men, instead of turning traditionally feminine aesthetics into a romantic stunt, here’s a thought: maybe just talk to the girl? Sorry, that might be too groundbreaking. Unheard of, even!

    Sensitivity and social awareness sometimes aren’t exploits for attention. Maybe you’re genuinely just a great person who embodies those qualities and happens to drink enough matcha to fuel a small country… although I doubt it. Drinking that much matcha probably causes some bowel issues.

     At the end of the day, if you’ve found yourself clutching “Pride and Prejudice” and wearing a quarter zip like a Nobel Peace Prize, you may check all the boxes for a “performative male” title, but at the end of this article, we’ve learned that true masculinity doesn’t need to have a title.

     The only approval that matters is your own, so be free to listen to Clairo and wear baggy jeans without having to feel it’s a self-sufficient stunt.